Review by Revd Dr Hugh BegbieThe Anglican Church is in danger of splitting apart over the issue of the blessing of same-sex marriages. To make matters worse, the opposing views are passionately held and there seems to be little ground for mutual understanding or dialogue.
David Bennett has written a superb book that all church leaders, all synod representatives and indeed every Christian who is seeking to understand God’s will in this difficult debate should buy and read. David came out at 14, and from that time until he turned 19 was a leading gay activist in Sydney and one who hated and opposed the Christian faith at every turn. Then, in a series of profound spiritual experiences of God, experiences I have never known, God melted the door that was closed against him and David came to faith.
Coming to faith and knowing how he should live were two different things, and his final position on this matter took many years to embrace.
The wonderful, challenging and raw nature of this book manages to address both sides of the argument, indeed, if my own reaction is any indication, David manages to humble and challenge both sides. As a heterosexual man and church leader who has lived on his own now for 19 years, I found his arguments not just helpful in relation to understanding how we should treat our gay brothers and sisters, but they managed to expose weaknesses in my own life as well. So, this book is written for non-gay Christians, teaching them how to love those different from us, as Jesus loves them.
The progressive argument is addressed also in this book. While speaking with great gentleness and compassion forged in the midst of his own pain, David comes to affirm both the importance of the male-female polarity of marriage as a God ordained image that points to the marriage of the Lamb to his people, and the importance of celibacy for those not in a God ordained marriage, and the reasons that bought him to this conclusion are insightful and helpful.
One important aspect of this book was David’s gentle exposing of a truth that we do not want to hear, and that is, that at the heart of many of our arguments on sexual matters lies idolatry. It might be the worship of family, of marriage itself, of sexual fulfilment, or individual rights, but David demonstrate how the west has become obsessed with these things and we have placed their importance above our commitment to God. I was rebuked by this argument and confess that many of my struggles as a single man were indeed idolatrous, a failure to trust God and to seek my ultimate intimacy in him. David Bennett has discovered through struggle that all our longings point to and find their final resting place in the relationship which God yearns for us to have and which one day we will be fully given to us and we will ‘know as we are known’. David found his joy and his intimacy in seeing this truth and allowing that future truth to affect his present reality. He has accepted that marriage and sexual intimacy is not given to him, but he has found a different kind of intimacy and friendship with loving Christians all over the world. This is a must read book.